


Conner and Hayes Fic Collection

by Multifandomwriter1



Category: Conviction (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, No Smut, Romance, Sensuality, it's hard to categorise, most are requests, mostly canon, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 03:12:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8270414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandomwriter1/pseuds/Multifandomwriter1
Summary: A collection of one-shot fics featuring the amazing ship Hayes Morrison and Conner Wallace.





	1. That's Not Cocaine

Hayes heard him come into the room and didn't have to turn around. She felt no need to do that. "I hate this job," she murmured without facing him. "Fire me."

"Let me guess, tough day. Someone had feelings, which you hate---"

Hayes finally spun around, her red-rimmed eyes meeting Conner's. A glimmer of concern flashed in his before he noticed the white powder on the desktop. His expression shifted. "That can't be here," he reminded her, firmly.

"Remember up close, fun, wild and transgressive is actually messy, destructive and dangerous." Hayes tilted her head at Conner before continuing, "This unit could do..." She struggled to find the one, simple word. "Good. But I won't, I can't. Fire me."

A silence followed and Conner's features were unreadable. Hayes stood unwavering before him. Her hopes of him believing her cocaine story and firing her were slim but it was her last shot at escaping this job. Conner seemed to be thinking and a touch disbelieving. "No," was his simple reply.

Hayes shrugged helplessly before turning and inhaling the white powder sharply. She could feel his eyes watching her, studying her. "How about now?" Hayes wanted to know, spinning back to face him.

The space between them evaporated as he stepped forward after a pause. His hands wrapped securely around her wrists as he pulled her near him. Hayes' breath hitched despite herself; he drove her ballistic daily and yet she was unexplainably attracted to him. In their past, sensuality became a power play for them both and now would be no different. His crystal blue eyes studied her young face a moment, without saying anything. His hand suddenly pulled her finger down towards the white powder and he deliberately dragged her finger across it. Hayes felt warmth rise into her cheeks; her plan was blown and she knew it. He lifted her finger and brought it to his lips. Hayes couldn't help but shiver slightly as he tasted the powder.

Conner's hand around her wrist loosened as he gazed her dead in the eyes and said, "That's not cocaine."

Hayes looked up at him, moving forward slightly. "Antihistamine. The cops still have my blow." The cover was completely blown now, she had no way to get out of this other than to admit the truth. Hayes' heart would have sunk if it wasn't beating so rapidly. She could hear her pulse in her head, pounding consistently as she felt his warm body against hers and sturdy hands wrapped around her's. Hayes didn't care about the drugs or even the job in that moment. There was one addiction for Hayes that was far harder to break; him. Her hate for him over the years only seemed to make it grow stronger. She would never admit it to anyone, not even herself, that when she was in Chicago for those few years without him in her life, she'd missed him. Now they'd reunited after all that time and her addiction hadn't faded or passed no matter how hard she tried.

Conner looked tempted as he flicked between her eyes and lips when a change seems to come over him; he became stiffer and cooler again. "Go do your damn job." He instantly regretted the hardness of his voice when Hayes' face changed, looking taken aback.

Hayes almost backed down and pulled away, disappointment flooding her. He always seemed to turn a cold shoulder when she wanted his attention. She wasn't ready to back down yet, though. She was far too stubborn. "The job can wait until tomorrow."

"It can't." He didn't sound convinced.

"Yes it can." Hayes brushed that subject aside. "What would you have done if there really was cocaine on the desk?"

Conner didn't say anything, his breath soft on her cheeks. His voice was low and deep, almost bringing Hayes to her knees. "Maybe I would have joined you."

"Maybe next time I'll bring some then," Hayes whispered.

"Do you think that's the only way to get my attention again?"

"I could find other ways if I wanted your attention," Hayes replied with a slight smirk. "I have creative methods."

"I don't doubt that." He looked amused. His fingers traced up her arms, dragging lightly towards her face, his fingertips coming to a rest at her jawline. Hayes' exhaled slowly at the sensation of his touch.

"I know you want to quit."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out, Wallace."

"The CIU can benefit from you, Hayes. You're tenacious, you're a brilliant legal mind...I think you have it in you."

Hayes laughed, bitterness coming over her. She felt suddenly self conscious and started to move away. Conner's fingers caught her face and this prompted her to stop. "I don't have any reason to stay, Conner. So what if people find out I was in jail and it hurts my mother's campaign? It wouldn't be the worst I've done. I really don't care enough to stay."

"Could I provide a more compelling reason?"

Hayes met his eyes again for a second before his arms slid around her and lifted her atop of the desk, her lips catching his in an intense, if not wild, kiss. The oxygen left Hayes' lungs as she melted into his embrace, her jumbled thoughts disappearing as her senses were enveloped in their heated kiss. She breathily broke the kiss for a brief moment.

"You are extremely compelling," she murmured. "And extremely effective."


	2. Beautiful Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a request! It's unrelated to any other episodes. It's a mix of apologies, angst and fluff! :)

Hayes' feet knew where they were going before her mind did. Her heels clicked sharply against the floor as she walked down the hallway, feeling as though she were moving on autopilot. Her knuckles rapped against his door and she mentally braced herself for the words she'd have to say to Conner. Part of her wanted to turn around and run away, the other part of her was nauseated from the stress of the situation and the last part of her truly just wanted to blurt out everything that so desperately needed to be said.

The door opened. Conner was in a plain grey t-shirt and jeans, something that few people other than her ever got to see. He casually leaned against the doorframe, expectantly. "Hi."

Hayes' throat was dry; too dry. She wanted to get something to drink and go home, but the words began to force themselves out of her mouth. "I'm sorry for coming here so late."

"That's fine," Conner replied with a slight shrug. "Are you okay?"

Hayes almost laughed at that. Ok? Her? Never. "I need to tell you something." She broke off into a pause, hesitation getting the better of her. She was tempted to just fudge the truth of why she was really there and just tell him something about the case. She stared at her high heels, trying to find the ideal words. None were coming to her.

Conner nodded slowly, patiently waiting. "Alright...?"

Hayes inhaled deeply and lifted her head, finally meeting his eyes. They were calm pools of blue and always seemed to know just how she was feeling, piercing into her soul. Now they stared at her with a mixture of confusion and concern, trying to read her expression, searching her young face for a hint as to what she was struggling to say.

Hayes began to think that death would be less painful than this. What she had to say burned deep inside of her, like a fire that she couldn't extinguish. She knew that telling him would help soothe the flames but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She was never the type to admit she'd made a mistake or be overtly emotional. Her initial courage when she knocked on his door had dwindled into oblivion. She licked her dry lips before stuttering, "I just wanted to tell you that the case is hitting a brick wall. Maybe tomorrow, you can help me review some data on it." In that moment, Hayes became filled with complete and total self-hatred. She didn't even wait for a reply, she just began to turn and walk away, back down the hallway to the elevator.

"Hayes!" Conner was still standing in the doorway, watching her.

Hayes turned around with reluctance. "What?"

"Come back here."

His voice was firm, steady. Hayes exhaled slowly, torn. She knew better than to argue with him when he adopted that tone. All the same, she wanted to leave and not look back.

Just like she did in Chicago.

Hayes knew she couldn't do that to Conner again.

Hayes bit down into the flesh of her lower lip as she closed the distance between the two of them, bringing herself back to his door.

"What were you going to tell me?" He wanted to know, his eyes flickering between her eyes and lips.

Hayes could feel the tears prickling her eyes even before she spoke. She loathed crying in front of people. Her eyes traced back down to the floor, trying to push away the feeling of threatening tears, as her thoughts swirled around. She tried to think clearly. 

Her whole life had been governed by the belief that no matter what she did, she had nothing to lose. Hayes realised that she had nothing to lose right now by telling him. Hayes finally looked up at Conner and found herself speaking, without even processing her words. "I'm sorry, Conner."

He looked bewildered. "For what?"

Hayes could feel a hot tear running down her face and she angrily swiped it away with her palm. "I'm sorry about everything. Mostly Chicago."

Conner continued to be silent which terrified Hayes into more talking. "I know I hurt you. And I know that leaving was a stupid thing to do. You were right, everything was okay for me. For us. But I got scared when I realised you really liked me. You were going to ask me to marry you, I know. I couldn't...handle that. Which was ridiculous but I didn't know what else to do. I ran away from you. So I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." Hayes was nervously rambling at this point but everything she was saying was flowing out of her mouth with surprising clarity. The weight in her mind and heart began to lighten as she spoke. Hayes paused with baited breath, her mind screaming for Conner to say something, anything. She never thought she was the type to bare her soul to a guy on his doorstep like the girls in the movies did, yet here she was. She didn't notice she was crying until Conner's hand brushed against her face to dry it.

He gazed at her studiously before saying softly, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Hayes began to feel self conscious for crying and her outburst. She dried her cheeks on her sleeve, waiting to see if Conner would say anything else.

"Hayes..."

"Yeah?"

"I was never angry at you for leaving. I was hurt, yes, but you know that I don't have it in me to stay angry at you for longer than...ten minutes." He smiled slightly at her, affection reflecting in his eyes.

"Back in Chicago, you were angry at me for fifteen minutes when I destroyed your best suit." Hayes shakily laughed, relief surging through her veins, her racing pulse slowing down. "I don't know why I put it in the washing machine."

Conner ruefully laughed. "Oh god, I was so pissed off."

"Until I couldn't help myself from laughing hysterically and you did too." Hayes smiled to herself as she recalled the memory. Those specific memories of her past were the ones she liked to treasure; the soft and quiet moments, and the downright hilarious ones. Chicago had had its ups and downs, but Conner had always been one of the ups in Chicago. He'd always been positive in her life, no matter where she was.

"I could never hold anything against you. Not even Chicago. I knew you had your reasons. Didn't mean I was crazy for your reasons, but I understood." Conner's tone became more serious.

Hayes said in a low and musing voice, "You've always understood me. No matter what. Even when I am a freaking disaster."

"Hayes Morrison, you are a disaster sometimes, but I always liked to think of you as my disaster. You're a goddamn beautiful disaster too."

Hayes was at a loss for words, her head feeling light and airy. For a moment, this magnificent moment, things were okay. Legitimately okay. The one person who mattered to her, didn't resent her. She'd let go of her deepest thoughts and let them run free. Hayes wanted to cry again, this time from pure relief. She opened her mouth to speak, to thank him, but nothing came out. Hayes swallowed hard before evaporating the distance between them by throwing herself into his arms in an intense kiss, sending them both stumbling backwards. Conner slammed the door shut behind them as he pressed her against it, hands roaming her skin, pulling off her jacket and tangling his hands in her hair. Hayes gasped for air as he pressed kisses onto her face and neck, closing her eyes and losing herself in the heat of their embrace. For a brief moment they broke apart and gazed at each other, their breathing ragged and hearts pounding.

"I'm your disaster?" Hayes murmured, her fingers running through his hair as she pressed her body as tightly against his as she could, as if he was her life support, the last thing keeping her grounded.

"Mine. Always."


	3. Don't Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this honestly has no particular time frame, it's a total one-shot. It can be whenever you imagine it :) Prepare yourself for angst!

Hayes rummaged through her bedside drawer. Her search for her passport was in vain; it was no where to be seen. Hayes sighed slightly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. If she wanted to go to Italy, she was going to need to find the stupid thing. She was tempted to text Conner and ask if he'd seen it, but she remembered that he was at a late meeting. Hayes would have to find it herself.

Italy. Hayes couldn't help herself but smile as she thought of the prospect of a holiday with Conner. Hayes hadn't been to Italy in years, and the prospect of going with Conner instantly brightened her mood. She knew that she had to find the missing passport before she could go anywhere, though. Hayes walked to the other side of the bed, opening Conner's bedside drawer, wondering if she'd placed it there by accident. She pushed aside his watch, his cologne and a few paper documents that he'd been reviewing the night prior. Hayes dipped her hand deeper into the drawer and felt along the bottom, in hopes of finding the thin plastic passport. Her hand brushed against something soft and Hayes instantly recoiled her hand, thinking it was an insect. Curiosity got the better of her and she set some of his things on the tabletop, so she could see what was hidden at the bottom of the drawer.

A velvet box. The soft navy box felt smooth in her hand. Hayes felt her mouth go dry rapidly, her head beginning to feel light. Almost afraid to open it, Hayes snapped open the box quickly, bracing herself.

Resting amid the velvet folds was a ring, covered in diamonds, sparkling so brightly that it refracted light reflections onto the wall. Hayes could feel her stomach drop her her toes. _Conner is going to propose to me_.

It's not like it wouldn't be totally unexpected. They'd been living together for two years, dating for three. Yet Hayes had never thought much about the weight of their relationship. It had always just come naturally, their relationship. They skipped the flirty hesitation and going right way to acting like a married couple. Hayes had forgotten sometimes that they weren't actually married.

Hayes stared at the ring, her pulse elevating and her anxiety rising. _Conner actually wants to spend the rest of his life with me_. Hayes' phobia of commitment began to raise its head, filling her mind with all sorts of drastic thoughts. Marriage. Official marriage. Bound to a document. Her family and friends coming to watch her get married. Having to plan a wedding. Having to summon the courage to walk down the aisle. Being bound to one person the rest of her life. Having to trust that he would care for her 'until death do us part'. Having to be a good wife. Having to actually be a wife in general.

It was too much. The familiar edge of 'I have to leave now', filled her thoughts. Hayes' hands were trembling, a sweat breaking it across her skin. Love itself was an odd concept to her but the fact that Conner loved her enough to marry was terrifying to Hayes. She loved Conner with every inch of her soul, but she never thought that she herself could be loved that much.

Hayes cursed herself with every item she threw in her bag. She didn't know where she'd go. It didn't matter. Wherever she went, no matter what corner she turned down, she knew Conner would be there. He always was. Since the first time they met, he'd always played a vital role in her life. Hayes pushed there thoughts aside, grabbing her bag and running down the apartment stairs without looking back. She hailed a taxi and told the driver to take her to the airport. A misting rain was falling, and with every tick of the windshield wipers, Hayes swore at herself for what she was doing. It was too late now, though. She couldn't bear to confront him about it.

The airport was busy as ever, despite the late hour. Hayes felt as though she were on autopilot as she traversed the bustling airport, her bag knocking against her legs with each step. It wasn't going to take him long to find her; her items were missing from the apartment and she had forgotten to close out of the website for airplane tickets on the computer.

Maybe she wanted to disappear without a trace.

Maybe she didn't.

Hayes made it as far as the baggage conveyor belts when she heard a voice. "Hayes, what the hell are you doing?"

Hayes could recognise that voice anywhere. Her heartbeat leapt ahead like a racehorse flying out of the starting gate. Hayes spun around, face to face with Conner. He looked vaguely unkempt, having just come from his meeting, his hair damp from the rain, but his blue eyes are lined with worry.

"Is something wrong? Why are you leaving?" Conner wanted to know, concern heavy in his voice. Which made it even harder for Hayes. She wanted to give way to tears and feel Conner's warm embrace but instead, Hayes fiddled with the strap to her luggage and spoke in a firm voice.

"I have to go. We were never going to work anyway." Hayes' regretted instantly her aloofness, feeling complete self-hatred wash over herself. She didn't want to hurt Conner but she couldn't handle speaking with any compassion at that moment. Any softness on her part would result in a definite change in her heart.

"Hayes, what are you talking about?" Her hopes of him being not offended were too late. His eyes went from concerned to shocked, his voice incredulous.

"I saw the ring, Conner," Hayes blurted out. Her legs felt wobbly and she yearned to sit down yet would not let herself.

Conner's expression shifted again. "You did?"

"You were going to ask me to marry you," Hayes said, half-aloud, half to herself.

"Why wouldn't I want to marry you?" Conner looked genuinely bewildered.

Hayes laughed ruefully. "I'm a mess."

"I'll help you clean up your messes."

Hayes ticked another point off of her finger. "I'm a wild party girl. I can't just give that up."

"We can go out and get wasted whenever you want."

"I'm self-destructive."

"I'll be there to help you whenever you're about to destruct."

"All I ever seem to do is hurt people, whether I'm trying or not."

"Hayes, to be hurt by you would be something that most men would die for."

"I'd be a terrible wife. I'm not good at any of those...wife-y things."

"I'm not going to be the perfect specimen of a husband either."

"I'm an awful cook."

"That's what phones are for, Hayes. Because I suck a it too, so in that aspect, we are pretty screwed." He lopsidedly smiled and Hayes could feel herself wanting to melt. He could be a cold and commanding attorney in public but around Hayes, he just turned into average guy who knew Hayes better than she knew herself.

Conner cleared his throat. "Hayes, our relationship has always been bumpy. It's been fantastic in some areas and completely a mess in others. But Hayes...I can't imagine myself with anyone other than you."

Hayes set the bag down at her feet. The sounds of the airport had dimmed in her mind, she didn't feel the people bumping into her and she didn't hear the talking. It was just the two of them, standing there, trying to hold onto something that was both the most difficult and most beautiful thing in the world.

"Conner..." Hayes broke off a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. "Conner, what we have is the most unique relationship I've ever had with anyone. It's unpredictable, it's tumultuous, it's everything I've ever wanted to have with somebody. And I don't want to leave, but..." Hayes couldn't find the right words to express her insecurities, her inner fears.

Conner's eyes were pleading, gazing into her's with almost desperation. "But what?" It was faint, almost a whisper.

The thought formed in Hayes mind slowly, becoming solid and concrete. The thought seemed to tediously blossom, busting through her concrete fears, shattering them. "I don't want to leave. Simple. Don't let me leave. I will stay here with you as long as you never, ever let me go. No matter what. No matter how much of a disaster I am, just please don't let me go." Hayes was surprised by how firm her voice sounded. So decided. It was a shocking moment of resolution for Hayes. Finally she knew what she wanted in her life. She wanted this.

She wanted him.

Hayes' head was floating as she felt Conner's lips press against her's, as an answer to her question. Her eyes shut when he pulled her tightly into his arms, wrapping around her waist in a secure grasp.

He never would let her go.

No matter what.


	4. I Hate You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I wrote this at like 2am (so excuse any errors, I'll go back and fix them later) and it's definitely the most sensual thing I've ever written. This was from an anon request on tumblr, asking for an angry kiss between them both. Hope you all enjoy this one!

Hayes knocked on the door to Conner's apartment, her knuckles white as her hands were balled into fists. She impatiently waited for him to answer. The door opened and she barged in, brushing past Conner. He made no move to greet her in a friendly manner. He knew exactly why she was there.

"What the hell, Conner?" Hayes' voice was louder than she originally intended, but she went on, "How dare you put a stop to my investigation!"

"'Your' investigation isn't 'yours'. I can shut down any one of your cases," Conner replied. Hayes could tell from his calm tone that he was anything but; he was pissed off, insanely so. Which was a parallel to Hayes' mood.

Hayes took her jacket off and threw it on the floor, her cheeks growing hot and flushed from anger. "Why this one? Give me a good reason."

Conner laughed bitterly. "I can give you several. First, the case is a dead end. All our units reviewed it several times, it's a pointless case to pursue. Second, the case is incredibly dangerous. We lost several of our people who tried to look into it. This is not just a wrongly convicted assault case; this case is involving what is believed to be an actual mafia, Hayes. Third, there are multiple friends of the convicted man who will not hesitate to kill anyone who is looking deeper into the case. We put it to rest, they stopped sending members of our units death threats."

"I just don't think that you convicted the right man," Hayes shot back. "There's dozens of issues with the case."

"---which can be left alone with," Conner interjected. His voice rose a level, struggling to make a point to Hayes, "The system worked, everything was working fine until you looked into it deeper." He came closer to her, his face near her's, so close he felt her breath on his face. She glared at him evenly before moving away, into the living room. Conner followed her, bracing himself for the oncoming storm. She kicked off her shoes, never a good sign; when Hayes began removing bits of her clothing, Conner knew she was getting ready to blow up. It was like she didn't want to be encumbered by excess things when she was angry. Sure enough, her over-jacket she ripped off so she was simply in her thin camisole. Her cheeks were rosy, her brown eyes dark and fierce.

"I can look into any case I want. You can't control me."

This struck a nerve. "I can't control you. I know that. But God, Hayes, you were going to put your life directly in danger! That was ridiculously stupid of you."

"Stupid of me? To do my job? You got me this job, you put me in this situation. Just be grateful I'm even doing it."

"What other choice did you have? Being another public scandal? Destroying your mother's chance at a good image?" Conner pointed out, restraining himself from completely flipping. He took a deep breath.

Hayes hated the fact that angry tears were in her eyes. She wiped them away with her palm, laughing to herself. There was not a hint of amusement in her laugh or sadness in her tears; she was so angry she didn't know what else to do. "Fuck you, Conner."

"I was trying to protect you," snapped Conner. His blue eyes were flashing, narrowed as he glared at Hayes.

"I don't need your protection, Conner! I'm not a little girl!" Hayes hissed. Her heart pounded, rattling her ribcage. Her throat was dry, her head ached from the stress of the day. "I don't need your protection. I never have and I never will."

"Stop being so stubborn! I was just trying to keep you safe," Conner retorted, taking several paces away from Hayes.

"I. Don't. Need. You!" Hayes screamed. She never intended to scream; it was like something escaped her throat that she couldn't control. The moment she spoke, she knew that she hurt Conner. It was clear on his expression; shattered and exhausted. Hayes could hear her own breathing as a silence set in the apartment. It filled every corner, pressed against Hayes. Her anger had been like a wave; rising, crashing.

"You don't 'need me'?" Conner shot back in an equal tone, his temper flaring up. "Good for you, Hayes, at least one of us doesn't need the other."

"What the hell are you saying?" Hayes demanded. The tidal wave was beginning to get stirred up again. She had a feeling what he was saying, she wasn't an idiot. But she wanted to hear him say the words. She felt a familiar hum under her skin, radiating down her arms and legs, making it hard to think.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about." Conner strode forward again, inches from her face, eyes sparkling from intensity.

"Enlighten me," Hayes snapped, bringing herself even closer to him, until she could feel the heat of his own body warming her skin. A chill ran down her spine and it wasn't from the cold.

"Damnit Hayes, if something happened to you because of a case, I would never be able to live with myself, okay? Do I need to spell that out for you?"

Hayes' mouth parted slightly, her breath leaving her lips slowly. Like a weight crashing down onto her chest, she realised just how much Conner did care about her and her safely. Hayes didn't know how to react and she scanned her brain desperately, trying to come up with a reply. "You would shut down an entire case just because of my safety?" Her voice was less angry than it was shocked.

Conner threw his hands up in the air, vaguely gesturing. "Well, of course! Do you have any idea how much I worry about you every single day? The people you work with are dangerous people. That one guy already tried to assault you during your interrogation. You have no idea how tempted I was to stop you from working here altogether after that? It was only your second case."

Hayes' body was buzzing, her thoughts becoming a swirled hurricane. She had no idea just how much he worried about her. To have someone actually give a crap about her existence, much less lose sleep over it, frightened her. No one has ever treated her with such regard before. Her hands began to tremble, her heart pounding so hard, she felt it pulsating in her head. Her eyes drifted to his lips, temptation rising in her throat. Conner was breathing heavily, his eyes still staring intently at her, waiting for a reply. Hayes impulsively moved forward, arms sliding around his neck, her lips shoving against his intensely, sending him staggering backwards. Hayes felt a familiar heat spread across her skin as his hands encompassed her waist, almost lifting her to his height. The cool wall met Hayes' back as Conner pushed her against it, burying his face into her neck, pressing a deep kiss against her shoulder. A deep, gasping breath escaped Hayes throat without her control as her hands dug into his hair, her head dipping backwards. He lifted his head and met her eyes briefly, before she aggressively slammed her lips against his, leaving lipstick stains on his mouth. Her lipstick left scarlet red prints. Marking him as her's. This possessive gesture turned Hayes on, sending every inch of her flesh begging to be touched by him. Her thinly-clad chest rose and fell rapidly when she felt his hand tuck under thigh, pulling it around his waist.

Hayes kept her legs tightly around his waist, one of the few opportunities she was at eye level with him. Her fingers wrapped tightly around the back of his neck, messing up his typically perfect hair. "I hate you so much."

"I hate you more." Conner replied, trailing his lips down her neck. Hayes inhaled in a sharp breath as she felt him suck on her neck. She had no idea how she'd hide the hickey at work tomorrow but that was the furtherest thought in her mind.

"So, so, so, so, _so_ much." Hayes struggled to keep the oxygen in her lungs, a low moan leaving her throat. "You should go to hell for the rest of your life."

"You'll be there with me, sweetheart. At least I'll still be able to give you hickeys there too," Conner cockily replied, raising his head to face her again. Hayes sank another kiss onto his mouth before suddenly saying, "This is the first time we haven't been interrupted since I've been back in New York."

"Let's make the most of it, shall we?" Conner said, sounding bemused. "Like we did back in Chicago."

"Mmm, I doubt anything will be like it used to be."

Conner raised an eyebrow.

"We can make it better."


	5. City Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a requested fic! I was requested to write what would happen if Hayes ran into Conner on the street after episode 1x04. (That episode hurt like hell) And this mega fluffy/feels-y fic practically wrote itself! If you want to request a Hayes and Conner fic, just inbox me at Hayes-Conner-Conviction.tumblr.com. :)

Hot tears rolled down Hayes' cheeks as she looked around, the bright city lights becoming a blurred watercolour. The stupid tree in her arms kept tickling her face with its leaves. Sudden anger seizing Hayes' bones, she threw it onto the concrete sidewalk, the pot shattering. A choked sob left Hayes' throat. The whole day had been generally hellish. Hayes didn't even know how to comprehend or process all of the events that went on. Her mind was plagued with concerns about Conner and his predicament as well; Hayes saw that he was in extreme emotional duress when she'd seen him at his office earlier that night and it killed her to watch. Her mistakes were causing yet another person to suffer. Hayes bit her lower lip until she tasted blood, desperate and confusing thoughts running through her head. She had nowhere to go now. No one to talk to. Her brother wasn't speaking to her. Her team hated her and Conner probably did to. Hayes would rather lay down on the sidewalk and die before going to ask her mother for help. Hayes dug her hand into her purse and felt for her wallet. Probably enough for a hotel room. Hayes started walking for where she knew the nearest hotel was. Her feet felt like cement and with each step, she sank deeper into regret and despair. She was utterly powerless in this situation and it was sickening.

The city lights were blurred still in her eyes and she paused to wipe her eyes with her jacket sleeve. Everything felt _fucking terrible_. Everything. Her world had finally begun to make sense, to flow and then _**BAM**_. Everything that could go wrong, did. Hayes hated crying and it only added to her current anger and agitation.

She blindly walked amongst the crowd of people on the street, unaware of her surroundings. She could wake up in Queens and not remember getting there. She bumped into people and managed an apology, trying to hide her face with her hair, so people would not see the distraught Hayes Morrison. The last thing she needed was headlines saying 'Hayes Morrison, not only a drug addict, but also an emotional mess'. She could envision the headlines now.

The crowds began to disband as she walked through the richer side of the streets. Lights were on in people's flats and Hayes could imagine them living their peaceful, comfortable and non-eventful lives. Envy filled her heart and the prospect of such normality. She walked by one particular gleaming complex and remembered that Conner lived there. She wondered if he was home, if he was alright.

"Hayes?"

Hayes looked up at the sound of Conner's voice. She hadn't noticed that he was coming down the street, in front of her. He had walked home from work too.

"Conner." As they came closer, Hayes studied his face, trying to see if he was happy or angry to see her. He mostly just looked tired, with shadows under his eyes.

"Why are you walking uptown?" Conner curiously asked, when the distance between them both evaporated. Hayes shifted her weight, feeling the dreaded emotion come over her.

"Um, it's complicated..." Hayes broke off, unaware of what to say next. Conner quietly stood there, waiting. Hayes wanted to tell him everything that was going on with Jackson but restrained herself. Conner's issues were exceedingly more important. Hayes opted to change the subject. "Conner, I wanted to make sure you were ok."

Conner ran a hand through his mussed hair. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier---"

"You are under a lot of stress right now and it's all because of me," Hayes interjected. "You have every right to be angry. Especially at me."

Conner let out a short laugh, bemused. "Hayes, you know very well that I don't stay angry at you. It wasn't your fault, what happened."

"It was." Hayes searchingly looked into his crystal blue eyes, guilt overwhelming her. "I will do everything that I can to keep you from harms way. It's the least I can do for you."

Under the streetlight, Conner looked vulnerable, almost weak. Hayes knew right away just how bad things were going to be going for him. She reached her hand out and touched his wrist, in attempt at comfort. The feeling of his skin under her fingertips sent a chill down her spine, as always. Hayes exhaled slowly.

"There's not much you can do. What's done is done." Conner sounded somewhat blank, numb.

Hayes got the overpowering urge to kiss him. Her only intention with it was to provide some sort of physical comfort, nothing more. She remembered their kiss back at his apartment, only a few days ago. How she'd been in emotional pain and how soothing their kiss had been to her. Hayes brought herself so close to him, she felt his soft breath on her cheeks. His eyes traced her's, flicking between her lips and eyes, unreadable. Hayes' arm slid around his neck as she ran her fingers through his hair. She pressed a kiss onto his lips, her lips hovering teasingly over his, brushing lightly against them. She took half a step back, waiting for a response of some kind.

She got a response, "Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?"

They'd lived together before and Hayes knew her way around his apartment well. His offer had not been suggestive by any means; he literally was just offering her a place to stay. Hayes was grateful and their old routine of being a couple at his apartment seemed to set in. Hayes took a shower and wrapped herself up in one of his bathrobes, curling up on the couch. She rested her head on the armrest, shutting her eyes. A headache was forming but that was the least of her concerns. _Jackson. Why did he kick me out like that. Does he despise me that much._

"You ok?" Conner sat down next to her on the couch. Hayes opened her eyes and sat up, shrugging her shoulders in reply.

"Alright, I don't want to sound rude here, but what exactly did you do that inspired Jackson to not let you into your own hotel room?" Conner raised an eyebrow, prepared to hear just about anything.

Hayes looked at him, helplessly. "I don't know. Maybe my interview? I have no idea why he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Hayes," Conner quickly assured her.

"Really?" Hayes could feel tears forming in her eyes. Jackson was the one person who had been with her through everything, since she was a little girl. And now, he had just left her and didn't want to see her. Maybe because it was late or the day had been atrocious, but Hayes found herself to be crying without realising it, her walls tumbling down. "Jackson hates me, my team hates me, my mother hates me, you probably hate me but just aren't saying so..."

Conner's arms felt secure and gentle as they pulled Hayes tightly into them. Conner's touch soothed Hayes. As much as they fought and were combative, he was also the only person she'd let herself cry in front of. He'd known her almost her entire life and knew how best to help her when she cried. First, never bring attention to the fact that Hayes is crying, never mention it again, and as touch-phobic as she can be, she really doesn't mind being hugged.

Conner didn't say anything while Hayes' tears flowed. He simply held her in his arms, warm and firm. Hayes could feel herself relaxing, her tangled thoughts becoming unwound. She rested her aching head on his knees, his fingertips tracing her features.

"I missed this," she faintly said. Her voice was soft, meditative.

"Miss what?"

"Us. Together. Not arguing or screwing up each other's lives. Just a quiet moment."

His hand caressed her cheek, a silent agreement.

"I wish it didn't have to end."

"It doesn't have to."

 _But it will_ , Hayes thought. _It always does._

The next morning, Hayes knew that she would wake up, get dressed and go to work. Conner would do the same. They'd have to keep their feelings masked by professionalism, their heads held high, no matter how they really felt. They would have to deal with the impossible conviction cases and Conner's investigation.

But that could wait until tomorrow. In the middle of the night, when the hours meld together into a moment of eternity, when time is liquid and non-existent, they could hold on to each other and the moment.

Hayes looked up at Conner with wistful eyes before she kissed him.


	6. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to write something with them both that was both fluffy and angsty. So here's a little fic about a Monday afternoon while they lived in Chicago. Please leave a comment of kudos if you enjoyed this!

"I can't take it anymore," were the only words that left Hayes' lips as she threw herself upon Conner's leather sofa in his office. She reached over and shoved the door shut before she resumed her sprawled condition.

Conner looked up from his paperwork at his desk, amusement in his eyes. Hayes didn't usually come to his office and it was always a pleasant surprise. "What's wrong?" he inquired. He wasn't really concerned, he could tell from her bored expression that she wasn't in any serious trouble.

"I. Am. So. Bored. My students have the day off for some holiday. I can't go home or Jackson will be shoving me into a new dress for Mum's gala tonight. So I'm stuck here with nothing to do for the entire day." Conner knew how stir crazy Hayes could get when she didn't have work or something interesting to do. He could hear her agitatedly tapping her dangerously high heels against the carpet, her knee bouncing. Her eyes darted across the sterile office space. "Your office is so damn clean all the time. For god's sakes, Conner, loosen up a bit." She got up and it didn't take her but a moment to find his alcohol in the drawer.

Conner looked up distractedly. "Hayes, it's not even noon."

"Shut up." It wasn't said harshly, there was laughter in her voice. She poured herself a glass and took a long sip before drawing near his desk. Her hand pulled his arm out of the way as she perched herself on his knee, taking another sip of the alcohol. Conner's arm slid around her waist. Hayes sighed softly but loud enough to be audible. Loud enough to make a point. She was bored out of her mind and craving some attention. She removed his hand from her waist and pointedly rested it on her upper thigh. This finally caught Conner's attention.

"Is there something I can do for you, Hayes?" He patiently asked, looking up from his various papers and meeting her eyes.

"I'm bored. Have a drink with me." It was more of a command than a request. She held out the half-drunk glass to him. He paused a moment, not dropping their eye contact for a moment before accepting it. Hayes' lips curled into a smirk. She climbed off of his knee and wandered over the radio, flicking it on. "It's about time you actually use this damn thing." She turned the stations until a song she seemed to like came on. It was surprisingly mellow and calm instrumental music. Not what he anticipated she'd like. "I don't think I've ever seen you turn this on. It's time you do." Hayes sauntered back over to the desk and finished the drink before pouring two separate ones, one for him and one for her. She drank down her's while she opened the curtains, allowing golden sunlight to flood the office room.

Conner gave up on the possibility of work as long as Hayes was in the room. He sat back slightly and watched her sway to the music, a slightly inebriated smile on her face. She came back over to him and took hold of his hands in her's. "Dance with me. It'll be fun."

Conner was always more than willing to give in to Hayes' whims. He rose to his feet as she dragged him over by the radio. She rested her head against his chest, inhaling his familiar scent of cologne. She offered him the rest of her drink which he took. Her head felt airy, just enough to be enjoyable. Hayes remained pressed up against him, feeling the pressure of his fingers as they absentmindedly touched her hair. Hayes was never the personality that enjoyed such mellow things as slow dancing, but she felt incredibly safe in Conner's arms and didn't want to pull away.

"I like being here. In Chicago. With you," she admitted so softly, she wondered if it was even audible.

It was. "I like being with you too."

She could hear the fondness in his voice. They were barely dancing anymore, just rocking back and forth, savouring the rare and peaceful moment. Hayes would have wanted it to last forever, until her cell phone bang to chime, breaking them apart. Hayes heaved a sigh and let go of Conner, resignedly raising her phone to her ear.

"Hayes! We need you back for dress fittings ASAP. Someone screwed up your order for your dress tonight and it came in the most hideous shade of chartreuse, not orange," Jackson said, his voice booming into the phone so loudly that Hayes pulled the phone away from her ear for a few inches.

"Chill, Jackson, I'm on my way now." Hayes groaned slightly before hanging up on him. The weight of reality crushed her blissful moment. Hayes rubbed her forehead with her fingers, wearily. She didn't want to leave this moment but now she was obligated to, which was even worse. She turned to Conner and with heavy regret, told him she had to leave.

"Something wrong?" Conner stepped forward.

Hayes gestured slightly. "Jackson wants me to come home and look at some things for Mum's ridiculous gala tonight."

She looked desperately unhappy and it tugged at Conner. He hated seeing her like this. He knew what her night would entail; she'd be forced into a dress she didn't want to wear, and be obligated to smile and be delightful company for the hundreds of reporters and guests. A few times in the past, she mentioned to him how uncomfortable she felt there, how insecure. Conner's hand brushed her hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. Hayes closed her eyes again, savouring the reassuring gesture before the long night ahead of her.

"You're going to be fine."

Hayes nodded, ignoring the pricking behind her eyes. "I always am." She just wanted to stay there with him, the rest of the night. The rest of the year, preferably. Conner's hand touched her cheek gently, before leaving a light kiss on her lips. Soft, almost just a brush.

Hayes gazed at him gratefully and now wished more than ever to stay a little longer, but knew she had to go or Jackson would kill her. "I'll see you soon?"

"Come by later tonight. I'll still be here."

Hayes paused, her hand on the doorknob. "Promise?"

"Of course."

Perhaps that was what got her through the night. The reassurance that there would always be one person on her side.


	7. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten a lot of requests for Jealous!Hayes so I was inspired to write this up! Let me know your thoughts, comments are always welcome! ❤️

Hayes did not expect to see Conner's ex girlfriend in his office. In fact, it was the furtherest possibly in her mind when she stepped foot in.

"Karen." Hayes tried to suppress the shock in her voice. Conner had broken up with Karen years ago, right before he dated Hayes. Hayes looked over at Conner, silently asking for an explanation. He didn't say anything, keeping his hands securely clasped on his desk. Hayes held her hand for Karen to shake. Karen did so, disdain apparent on her face.

"I was in town and wanted to drop by to say hello." Karen smiled coyly at Conner, who remained silent.

Hayes felt odd, her cheeks growing warm. She disliked how scrutinised Karen made her feel. She awkwardly stood there, between Karen and Conner. Karen was expecting Hayes to retreat, to take this as a cue that she was still into Conner. Hayes cleared her throat before announcing, "I'm glad you were able to find a moment to talk to Conner. His schedule is pretty packed lately, you know, with all the sex we're having."

Karen didn't bat an eyelash, meanwhile Conner was using all his willpower not to laugh. "Conner was telling me about you working here. Weren't you in jail a few months ago?"

Hayes was steadily growing pissed off. She didn't like seeing Karen, she didn't like the way Karen stood so close to Conner. "Yep. Cocaine bust," Hayes aloofly replied.

"I must say, I was a little surprised Conner hired you after that," Karen smoothly said. Her hands rested on her hips, a power move. Hayes didn't even acknowledge it.

"I think he's a bit turned on by it." Hayes shrugged, shooting the amused Conner a look. "Isn't that right, babe?"

"You know what I like," was all he simply replied. He wasn't getting into the cross fires of this scene but far too interested to stay entirely out of it.

"I know how you like it too," Hayes smirked before turning her gaze on Karen again.

Karen wasn't ready to give up her dominance yet. "I do think Conner likes the...mentally stable kind. It's cute to see you trying to go clean now."

Hayes irritation rose and her wit rose as well. "He likes both sides equally, I think." She spoke with more confidence than she actually felt. She didn't know if Conner actually did like both sides; that was a shot in the dark. He always seemed to, in the past. Hayes' eyes skirted over to him and the small smile on his lips comforted her.

Karen lightly laughed, but her tone was flat. "Well, Hayes Morrison, you'll be keeping him busy."

"In a good way, I'm sure." Hayes smiled sweetly. Her shoulders squared, her chin was lifted. She craved a bit of competition, despite her initial envy.

Karen's eyes darted to her watch. She, with most regret, said, "Work calls. Goodbye Conner." She leant over his desk and kissed him on the cheek. Hayes stiffened. Conner pulled away, looking over at Hayes immediately.

"I hope I see you soon." Karen purposefully bumped into Hayes on her way out. "You, maybe a little less," she hissed in Hayes' ear.

"Oh, we'll see plenty of each other in hell." Hayes said loudly and rolled her eyes, kicking the door shut with her foot, the second Karen left the doorway.

Conner got to his feet, closing the distance between them. "Were you jealous, Hayes?"

"Not hardly. I'm much more charming," Hayes scoffed. Her only giveaway was a slight glint of agitation in her eyes.

Conner's hands rested on Hayes' hips, pulling her against him. His touch sent Hayes' pulse quickening. "You made our sex life sound far more active than it actually is," he remarked lightly, dropping a kiss on her nose. A blush crept up Hayes' cheeks.

"Well, maybe we should fix that." Hayes arched a perfect eyebrow, a mischievous expression on her face. She rose on tiptoe as she sank into Conner's warm and passionate kiss.

He drew back slightly. "Hayes?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't want you to feel threatened by other women, alright?"

"How come?" Hayes pried, her arms locking around his neck.

"There's no one that compares to you."

"Both sides of me?"

"Especially both."

Nothing else he could have said would have made Hayes happier than she was then.


	8. The Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I got super excited at the idea of writing a Pregnant!Hayes fic! Honestly this gives me so many feels. Enjoy!

"Hayes are you feeling okay?"

The question by Tess rattles Hayes out of her haze. She had been staring into the middle distance, a headache pounding her head, nausea curling in her stomach. She swallowed hard. "Yep, I'm fine."

Tess kept going, "So we need to develop a strong defence against him and quickly---"

Hayes abruptly stood up, the sick feeling growing. "Excuse me."

She felt them all staring at her as she rushed into the bathroom. Her hands gripped the sink as she inhaled deeply. _It was probably just an anxiety attack_ , she reasoned to herself. She inhaled deeply, running her hands under the faucet and pressing them against her flushed face. Hayes looked at herself in the mirror, a sudden thought coming over her. She skipped this month and now she was sick to her stomach for the past week. _Oh god, please may it not be what I think it is_. It seemed outrageous but there was a small possibility. The moment that thought occurred to Hayes, she tried to shut it out. It stuck like glue. 

Hayes couldn't rest unless she knew. The very thought traumatised her but she needed to know. She managed to stutter an excuse of absence to Maxine. With heavy hands of dread, she plucked a pregnancy tester from the local drugstore and braced herself for the test. Her hands quivered as she read the result.

_Oh my fucking god._

|||||||||||

"Well, you have to tell Wallace." Hayes' mother sat back in her chair, an expectant look on her face.

Hayes cursed herself for telling her mother. It was a stupid move to make but when she was curled up on the floor of her bathroom that evening, she couldn't help herself. She had to tell someone. She knew she couldn't tell Jackson; he'd have a nervous breakdown and end up calling their mom anyway. And she definitely couldn't tell Conner.

"Mom, I can't," Hayes laid down on the sofa, putting her feet up on the armrest. Her stomach was in knots and her head was spinning. Her mother watched her, sipping on a cup of tea. Hayes could feel her judgmental glare. "I'm enough of a burden to him."

"He is the father, correct?" Her mother clarified. She crossed her legs, the epitome of authority. Hayes knew how much her mother was gloating over the fact that her rebel daughter finally came crawling to her.

Hayes squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "Of course he is."

"You haven't been sleeping around as much lately? I'm impressed."

"Now isn't the time, Mom."

Hayes heard her mother inhale deeply. "Wallace has a right to know."

"It's not that simple, Mom. This is going to get public and he's going to be screwed. I can't do that to him."

Her mother rolled her eyes, loftily sipping on her cup of tea. "If you two just got married soon and then you acted like you were pregnant, that would make things even more simplified."

"You want me to marry me now? Well that was quick. I thought you hated him."

"I do. But he's a good catch and he seems to be quite infatuated with you." Her mother set the teacup down with a clink on the tabletop. "It'll look good for the public as well. Your height difference is quite attractive."

Hayes groaned. Somewhere in those messed up statements, there was logic.

_Wallace has a right to know._

"I can't."

|||||||||||

 

Masking a pregnancy was easier than Hayes anticipated. She understood how so many celebrities hid theirs. Morning sickness almost gave her away at work, but she managed to convince the team she was just hungover most mornings. Looser shirts hid the small bump beginning to form.

Around Conner was hardest to hide it. She tried to keep their relationship progressing as though absolutely nothing was wrong. Every time she looked at him, she felt a weight in her chest grow heavier. She just wanted to tell him, to let him know. He was totally oblivious, absorbed in his work, pausing only to give her attention from time to time. It was hard to mentally fathom the fact that she was going to be the mother of his child. Despite her terror of everything, a fraction of herself was already growing fond of the unborn child. Something about the persistent pressure, the knowledge of someone needing her, kept Hayes' head above water. The bump was barely noticeable, but Hayes felt herself often resting her hands protectively over it. A maternal instinct was something Hayes never anticipated that she had and she really didn't. But the idea of being obligated to keep someone safe from harm and taken care of caused a positive effect on Hayes.

Hayes stood in front of the mirror, heaps of clothing surrounding her. It was getting harder and harder to conceal and her normal clothes weren't hiding it anymore. Her cravings were kicking in and that was becoming a giveaway as well. Frankie was sent every ten minutes to go get Hayes a milkshake. Sam had remarked offhandedly that he never saw someone drink so many milkshakes in his entire life. Hayes just nodded and lightly replied that New York made the best ones.

This pregnancy was becoming a secret way too heavy to carry on her own.

Jackson found out quick enough, when he walked in on her one morning suffering from a bout of morning sickness. He knew right away. Surprisingly, he was not panicked, merely pissed that she hadn't told him yet. Jackson finding out was a burden relieved from her shoulders. There was only one other person who needed to know and Hayes couldn't bring herself to tell him.

She considered it, briefly, one time when she was at his office. It had been late, she'd been exhausted and hormonal. She had just wanted to cry and tell him everything.

But she held back.

Hayes tried to logically think of why she was so scared and discovered even more reasons to be terrified. _What if he doesn't want to be the father? What if he does? What do we do then? What do we do now?_

Maxine noticed her growing stress, Hayes couldn't hide that as well as she did her pregnancy. Maxine walked into Hayes' office one morning and shut the door behind herself.

"Something wrong?" Hayes sat back from her desk. Her stomach fluttered and she subconsciously touched her ever growing belly.

"I was pregnant once," Maxine reminded her. Her eyes surveyed the milkshake cups in the trashcan and on Hayes' desk. She rested her hands on her hips. "I know you sleep around a lot. Who's the daddy?"

Hayes was taken aback. "I'm not pregnant."

"Really?" Maxine didn't bat an eyelash, her critical and vaguely sarcastic glare set on Hayes. "My office is right next to the bathroom. Since you've lived in there the past three months, I think it's safe to assume you are."

"I don't know what you're going on about." Hayes laughed but it sounded uneasy. Hayes cleared her throat. 

"Hayes, you can tell me. I'm a mom, I can help you out."

The invitation was too kind and warm to ignore. Hayes sighed, sinking deeper into her chair. "You're right. I'm pregnant." It sounded strange to say aloud and sent her pulse quickening. "Conner Wallace is the dad."

Maxine raised an eyebrow. "Lucky baby. Good genetics. You told Conner right?"

Hayes rested her forehead in her hands, unable to hide her guilt. "No..."

"Damn Hayes," Maxine said, sounding surprised. "You better before you pop. Or he thinks you banged another guy."

Hayes hadn't even thought of that. "How did you tell your husband?"

"I texted him while on duty. That's not advisable though. Verbally is a better option. Just get it over with, hon."

Hayes nodded. Maxine was right, she couldn't put it off any longer. "Thanks, Maxine. Try to keep this between you and me, okay?"

"Of course. If you need anything, let me know." Maxine's reassuring smile comforted Hayes.

Hayes inhaled deeply and pulled out her phone, writing up a text: **I need to talk to you. I'll stop by later.**

She pressed send.

|||||||||||

 

Hayes was tempted to just lie about something else and not tell him that night. She sank onto his sofa putting her swollen feet up on the coffee table. High heels had become a trial to walk in. Hayes felt a flutter again, causing her to smile to herself without even knowing it. Conner perched on the sofa next to her, kissing her cheek.

"What's up?" He seemed relaxed, calm.

 _Now was as good a time as any_ , Hayes thought. She felt panicky and like she was going to be sick, which was an entirely possible thing to have happen. She exhaled slowly, willing herself not to vomit on Conner or his expensive rug. "Yeah, I just needed to tell you something."

"Okay," he expectantly replied, completely unaware of her news.

Hayes's heart rattled her ribcage. She felt like she was going to start crying, which she disliked. One of the things she hated about being pregnant was all the different emotions she was feeling and they fluctuated every five minutes. She tried to get a grip. "Conner, I have news."

Conner just nodded, waiting. He looked so inviting, so easy to talk to, so capable. She just wanted to tell him everything and let him help her handle things.

Hayes forced a smile. "Well, it would seem that there is a chance I'm...pregnant."

"A chance?" He raised his eyebrows. He didn't seem to react at all, which both relieved her and made things worse.

"No, I'm...I actually am. I took a test and ultrasound and all that crap. It came back positive." Hayes dug into her palm with her fingernails, waiting for a reply. _Please just say something, anything._

Conner seemed to be processing it. He didn't say anything for a long moment. It was only about ten seconds but to Hayes, it was much, much longer. His hands tucked her hair out of her face and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. Hayes almost melted entirely at this soothing and affirming gesture.

"Hayes, I'm not going to lie. This is unfamiliar territory for me. But this is really, really wonderful." His voice was low and soft. Hayes felt tears threaten again, this time of complete relief. The heavy weight of anxiety on her mind lifted, making her feel lightheaded from an adrenaline rush. She locked her arms around his neck and he held her tightly, taut and firm against his chest. Hayes closed her eyes, shakily exhaling. It felt like the first time in three months that she'd actually breathed.

"So what now?" Hayes whispered, pulling back slightly. Conner smoothed her hair down, which was mussed from their embrace.

"I have no idea," Conner honestly admitted and began laughing. Hayes immediately followed suit, sinking back into his arms. Despite their complete confusion, she felt the secure hum of connection between them. They'd developed that connection over years. It had helped them through every twist and turn, professional and personal. Their consistent ability to accomplish anything set before them stemmed from that connection. Even parenting could be accomplished.

This was going to be a hell of a ride, but they were ready to fasten their seat belts.


	9. Gowns and Galas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I got a prompt to write Hayes and Conner being flirty as hell at a public event. Here you go!

"I didn't expect to see you here."

A silky voice caught Conner's attention. He turned to see Hayes standing next to him, dressed impeccably.

"You look amazing as always," he lightly replied, eyes skimming over her revealing navy gown. Her cherry-red mouth curl into a smirk.

"You don't look half bad yourself." She winked at him before looking out at the sea of guests and reporters. "Looks like Mum's gala is going well."

"Who wouldn't want to be around the Morrison ladies?"

Hayes' lips twitched, her eyes flicked over to him. She felt weight press against her lower back and knew it was his hand. A shiver ran between her shoulder blades, sending her pulse quickening. She felt him press lightly against her side.

"Are you hitting on me in a room full of reporters and press?" Hayes wanted to know in a low voice.

His voice was deep in her ear, sending vibrations down her skin. Every inch of her itched for the sensation of his touch. His fingers brushed against her bare back, as smooth as the silk she wore.

"I doubt you'd give anything away."

A challenge. Hayes felt a thrill run through her veins. She lived for Conner's challenges, in whatever form they took. She inhaled slowly and automatically flashed a perky expression for the reporters.

"Dance with me." Hayes did not inquire this, she demanded it. She wanted to push limits tonight. One look and she knew Conner wanted the same. He held out his hand and lead her amongst the other dancers.

"I always forget how good you are at this," Conner remarked. Hayes couldn't suppress a small smile at the feeling of his hands on her hips, firm and secure, pulling her tightly against him.

"That's not the only thing I'm good at. I hope you didn't forget that either." Hayes loved nothing more than covering her words with innuendo.

His voice was deep and close in her ear, "You're impossible to forget."

Had there been no challenge between them, no reporters, no all-seeing press, Hayes would have ripped off her dress hours ago or attacked him in a passion-filled kiss. She had to physically restrain herself which was more difficult than she anticipated. She could feel the press watching them, every breath they took, every move they made. She inhaled deeply, keeping up her facade of utter serenity. She watched as a reporter pulled Conner aside to ask a question. A mischievous smirk graced her features as she drew close to Conner, listening to him answer the questions.

"Yes, we believe the CIU can do excellent work and take a large load off of the other departments."

Hayes knew it was wicked to unnerve him during such an important interview but couldn't resist it. She leaned forward and whispered ever-so-sweetly, "You should take my panties off."

Conner visibly flinched, shooting her a look. Hayes charmed him and the reporter with a sweet expression. Conner went on, although his voice sounded slightly uneven, "The CIU is in the best hands there are, Hayes Morrison."

Hayes was surprised and grateful for the compliment and made a mental note to thank him later. Much later. The reporter thanked them for their time and skittered away, leaving Hayes and Conner alone again. Conner shot her a withering look.

"Really? In the middle of an interview?"

"Why the hell not?" Hayes demanded, her tone airy. She playfully batted her eyelashes at him before dragging Conner onto the dance floor.

"If the press takes photos, we're screwed," Conner hissed into her ear, his breath ghosting on her neck. Hayes gripped his hand tightly, their dancing steps falling into sync.

"I don't even care anymore. They've had their field day with me after Belize," Hayes murmured. "Surely you saw the pictures."

"You on a nude beach was hardly a surprise but a view I had been missing," Conner mused. His hand on her waist pushed her outwards, spinning her. Hayes twirled back in so sharply, her chest slammed against his. She didn't back away and neither did he. He tilted his head slightly, lips hovering over her's, achingly close to touching before he pulled back a thread. He was calm, he was confident, he knew exactly what he was doing. Hayes mentally groaned, knowing just how much of a tease he could be. Conner was the chief cause of her sexual frustration. 

"Well I'm here now. What are you going to do about it?" Hayes challenged him, meeting him dead in the eyes.

Conner's hand tightened around her's. "Come back to my apartment with me."

Hayes knew for a certainty that there would be a million photos by the press from the night. Their attraction had been less than subtle. She didn't care, neither did he. As she lost herself in his kisses that night, in his deliberate and tantalising touch, she could not help but feel an odd emotion.

Gratefulness.

The only man or woman that ever embraced Hayes and embraced every side of her, good and bad, was Conner.

He left her wild and embraced her edges.


	10. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got a request to write Hayes finally telling Wallace how she feels about him...needless to say, I got a zillion feels writing this.

Hayes' head buzzed as her feet found their way to his doorstep. It was so ironic to end up here AGAIN. Hayes swayed slightly, deliberating whether to knock or not. Part of her definitely wanted to, the other part warned her definitely not to, it was not a smart idea at all.

Hayes knocked.

It only took a moment for Conner to answer. He was surprised to see her but not unused to seeing her drunk at his doorstep. "You okay?"

"Yes," Hayes automatically said. She cursed herself; no she wasn't okay, she was the furthest thing from okay. "Actually, no. Not at all. Is your new girlfriend in here?" She shoved past him, surveying the empty apartment. The floor rocked underneath her feet and she abruptly grabbed Conner for balance. "You've been working out." Hayes smirked playfully, her hands lingering on his arms, enjoying the sensation of his steady presence under her touch. He made no reply but lead her to the sofa, carefully sitting her down. He took off her shoes and propped her feet up. Conner had taken care of a drunk Hayes many, many times.

"Is there something you needed to talk to me about?" Conner calmly took a seat across from her. He was still pissed at her for the interview but time had healed the wounds in their relationship. He pitied the drunk woman in front of him, the woman who deserved so much better than the shit she was going through.

Hayes waved a lazy hand. "It really doesn't matter at all. Where's Naomi?"

"She's gone back to Chicago."

"Chicago...I liked it there..."

"Not enough to stay, obviously."

"Or maybe I liked it too much." Hayes sat up a little straighter, meeting Conner's eyes. "Maybe I was too crazy for Chicago and that's why I left."

"Naomi's a good catch, I'm not surprised you're crazy for her," Conner replied. Hayes shook her head.

"I was never crazy about her, you idiot. She wasn't the only person in Chicago that I was crazy for."

"Oh, that actor, right?"

Hayes sighed heavily, rolling her eyes. She was too drunk to clearly decipher if he was just going on to annoy her or not. "Fuck him, I hated him. I just dated him to piss off Mum." Conner's laugh caused her pulse to quicken. Her skin was humming, the energy in the room pulsating. Hayes was glad that she was slightly drunk; she never could handle this sober. Emotions were not her forte. Her mother's words about telling Conner how she felt about him were still rattling Hayes' brain and she wanted to tell him.

"So Naomi. I...I saw you two the other night." Had Hayes not been slightly tipsy, she never would have blatantly said that. After a long day, Hayes was more than ready to just get the heavy weight of unspoken words off of her chest.

Conner's expression flickered. "What about it?"

Hayes exhaled slowly. "I'm surprised. I thought you two broke up."

"Friends with benefits," Conner replied with a shrug. His eyes were skimming over Hayes, observing her every move and she felt an intense flush crawl up her skin. His eyes always made her weak in the knees; they always seemed to see right through her and he put a whole new meaning to the term 'undressing with your eyes'. Hayes dug her fingernails into the armrest of the sofa, trying to get control of her thoughts. "Why would you care, anyway?" He continued, titling his head slightly at her.

Hayes' mouth grew dry, her palms sweaty. Now was a perfect time to speak her mind. It was funny, she was always so comfortable speaking her mind to anyone except him. "Well..." Hayes' surge of confidence dropped into the abyss. She stuttered, "I was merely curious. Nothing more."

Conner nodded, his foot tapping the floor. Hayes couldn't tell if he was disappointed in her casual answer. She was far too focused on untangling her own thoughts to worry about his.

Her high of nerve to tell him her feelings was gone. She crashed in a swirling spiral. Hayes bit her lip, getting to her feet. She loathed herself for being unable to speak up. This was so out of character for her and she disliked every second of it. "I should go. Work tomorrow."

"Thanks for stopping by," Conner calmly replied, getting to his feet and following her to the door. Hayes' steps felt like cement pulling her down. Every step to his door felt like a step further away from them and their relationship. If that's what it could even be called. Whatever it was that they had that was so damn addicting, whatever it was that they had that pulled in Hayes so deep she couldn't leave.

Hayes hand hit the doorknob before she spun around. She was startled briefly at how close Conner was standing to her but started talking before she even knew what was happening. Her voice wavered, it's pitch dropping and rising.

"You want to know why I care about seeing you and Naomi? Because, guess what, Conner? I'm still not over you. I know, it was years since we were together but I can't get you out of my head. When I kiss other guys, I just see you in my head, not them. When I work cases, all I can think about is when we used to work cases together. When I saw you kissing Naomi, all I could think was how much I just wanted to be her in that moment so fucking bad." Hayes lips trembled, stunned by her own outburst. She couldn't believe that she just said all of those things aloud and to him. There was no taking it back, no rewind button. Conner's features were unreadable during the entire outburst. Hayes' shaking hand fumbled for the doorknob but his clamped down onto of her's.

"Hayes..."

"What?" She bitterly snapped. Tears began to form a watercolour in her eyes and she blinked them back. Never before had she bared herself and now she felt exhausted.

"I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't. I don't exactly go around telling people about my feelings," Hayes replied. Her throat felt thick and she avoided his eyes contact. She felt like she was in a daze, only feeling his hand brushing her hair out of her face. Hayes almost went completely weak from his touch. She lifted her head and saw his soft smile. The blood rushed to her head and relief began to surge through her.

"Can I just say that I'm really glad you finally did," Conner said, pulling her hand off of the doorknob. His arms encircled her, lifting her off of her feet as his lips met her's in a starving kiss. Hayes' legs automatically wrapped around his waist, hands clinging at him. She was shaking from relief, the weight of every feeling she'd harboured over the past years finally lifting and floating away. It was just the two of them now, no glass wall. 

Hayes' life had so many regrets. Countless ones.

That night was one moment she never regretted.


	11. Recordings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place right after Hayes watches the tape of Conner at the end of 1x07. Legit, seconds after that moment. This was a request by a lovely fan :) Sorry it's short and a bit more angsty!

Hayes slowly shut the laptop, setting the disc back onto the table. Every movement she made was methodical, almost trance-like. The overwhelming and continuous thoughts about Conner flooded her mind. Had he really meant everything he said on the tape? She'd always suspected her hidden feelings for him were unreciprocated; that was why she never insinuated to him how she really felt. It was far easier to lead him on, having him think he was nothing more than a guy to sleep with.

She didn't want to confront him about it; Hayes didn't like confronting anyone about emotions or feelings, much less Conner. Hayes chewed on a hangnail as she envisioned the various situations that could play out.

She could tell him that she saw the tape, totally upfront about it. See what he'd do next. Hope that he wouldn't be angry at her for watching it and bringing it up. The situation could turn out badly or wonderfully, there would be no in between.

Hayes could slowly let on about it; small mentions of it here and there over the span of weeks until it would occur to him that she saw it. This option would require immense patience and tediousness. Conner might not even catch on; he was brilliant but occasionally completely oblivious.

Hayes could always just ignore the tape and pretend it never existed. Never mention it, never let on that she knew of what was recorded. This option was most logical, it was most sensible. She had no right to watch the tape at all, the consequences were her's to shoulder alone.

Hayes didn't know how this changed her view of him. Every time she thought of him and now knowing how he felt, it made her skin grow warm, her pulse quicken. She wasn't imagining the chemistry. Part of her longed to tell him everything she'd bottled inside of her over the years. The other part insisted that emotions are a difficult game to play with; bringing those thoughts and feelings into the light was highly likely to start internal wars.

Their relationship was already built on a thin layer of ice, Hayes couldn't risk fucking this up entirely. No tapes, no revalations of feelings would help.

She bitterly got to her feet, snatching her purse and coat, leaving behind the tape and her feelings with it.

Maybe one day she'd think about telling him, about opening up.

Right then just wasn't the time.

But one day.

 


	12. College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In canon, Hayes and Conner do not go to the same college but I've been dying to write a college AU for them! Enjoy!

Hayes' hips swayed as she turned the radio up. The vibrations of the music sent her ears ringing but she loved every second of it, totally ignoring the shouts of annoyance in the surrounding dorm rooms. The sound of someone knocking on her door was barely audible over the pulse of the music. Hayes groaned, knowing for sure that it was one of the copious headmasters that paroled the dorm hallways, looking to pounce on students.

She regretfully turned the music down a notch, swinging open the door as she said, "I'm sorry that you don't like AC/DC but I do---". The words halted as she set her eyes on her visitor. Her eyes flickered over him, assessing him at once. Most men were intimidated by her glacial and critical glares but this particular one seemed entirely unfazed. He returned it with an unaffected and unemotional look. Surely he recognised her as the First Daughter but he gave no clear indication.

"Miss Morrison, correct?" He guessed offhandedly.

Hayes' attention was peaked. A man who wasn't throwing himself at her feet? This was something unusual and interesting. Hayes tilted her head, curiosity growing inside of herself. She leaned against the doorway, leaning closer to him. "That's me."

"I'm Conner Wallace. I assume you're new here?"

"Just moved in," Hayes gestured with one hand to the boxes on the floor behind her. "You're in your last year?" The assumption wasn't too difficult to make; he looked older than her by a few years and his casual demeanour indicated a settled and routine lifestyle.

Conner's lips twitched slightly. He folded his arms across his broad chest and continued to keep her eyes trapped in his steady stare. His indifference began to irritate Hayes. Her curiosity began to shift to aggravation. "Why are you at my door?" she wanted to know, mocking his pose by crossing her arms as well.

"It was generally agreed that your music, if that's what you want to call it, is a disruption and needs to be turned off." Conner's hand extended to move her to the side as he walked into her room and turned the radio off entirely. Hayes' lips parted in disbelief at his audacity to just walk in like he owned her dorm. Her hands dropped to her hips as she squared her shoulders.

"Why the hell are you just in here like you live here?" Hayes demanded. Conner turned to face her, entirely calm. His edge of silent confidence began to crawl under her skin. He walked over to her, stopping inches from her face.

She disliked how she had to look up to meet his eyes. She disliked how his eyes diverted briefly to her lips before he smirked again. She disliked how his eyes seemed to be challenging her, drawing her in.

"Look, Miss Morrison, I want you to know that I don't care if you're the Queen of England. I don't care that you are President Morrison's daughter. To me, you are Hayes. Just Hayes. And you will be a decent person by taking the other student's needs into consideration. Which means _that_ ," he said, pointing at the radio. "Stays off."

He brushed past the stunned Hayes without another word. Outside of her doorway, in the hallway, she heard a male student ask Conner in a teasing voice, "Saw you went in the prez's daughter's room. That's cozy. You gotta thing for her?"

Conner's voice was fading as it he walked down the hallway, further from her room, but Hayes distinctly heard him reply, "I want you to shoot me if I ever show any signs of liking her, okay?"

~~~~~

"I think that it's entirely circumstantial," Hayes casually replied to the professor, leaning back in the uncomfortable wooden chairs. The eyes of the students turned on her. Hayes was used to being the centre of attention, she basked in it. "Hundreds of people get convicted for crimes they did not commit, merely because of the negligence of their lawyer. It'll piss off every prosecutor out there, but I do think old cases should be looked into. Justice is black and white. Until there are no grey areas left in the case, it should be allowed to reopened without any court resistance. Some lawyers are real assholes and fuck up entire cases. The courts shouldn't let them get away with that."

The professor was less than thrilled with her contribution and her language. He pushed his glasses up his nose, sighing. The silent class looked between Hayes and the professor.

Someone cleared their throat. Hayes' eyes darted over to the cause. Her gaze laid on none other than Conner Wallace. He didn't look over at her but her eyes didn't leave him. "Professor, I do think Miss Morrison makes a valid point despite her...her unconventional methods. Until every angle of the case is throughly examined, true justice can not be brought down."

"So you agree with her?" The professor leaned against his desk as he considered this.

Conner paused a moment. "Yes. I do."

Hayes pulled her stare off of him, surprised. Out of all the people in the classroom, she had expected him to disagree with her the most. The flare of curiosity about him rose inside of herself again. It was rather ironic that the one man she'd been trying to put out of her head was the one who inhabited her thoughts the most.

She didn't thank him for taking her side on the matter but their eyes met across the room as the class dismissed and a silent understanding came between them. There was something about the way that he held her gaze in a room full of people, utterly tuning out the surroundings. Her surroundings felt distant, fuzzy. Hayes could have been standing on an active volcano and she wouldn't have noticed the difference. It was more than just an initial attraction. It was more than just a casual, 'oh hey, you're really hot and smart and we should have sex sometime soon'. It was something indefinable, something not even Hayes Morrison could explain.

Later that day, Hayes contemplated that moment. She turned it over in her mind, reliving it. She found him attractive, yes. She found him intelligent, brilliant, in fact. She found him to be irritating and arousing, yes. But it was still something deeper than that.

It was an odd feeling, looking at one person and knowing that they, whether she liked it or not, was going to latch onto her life. Influence it, be a part of it.

 _Conner Wallace_ , she thought meditatively, turning the name around in her brain. _You're going to be the best or worst thing that's ever happened to me._


	13. Where We Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a request from tumblr! This takes place the morning after episode 1x09.

"You ok?"

Conner's gentle tone awoke Hayes from her half-sleep. She rolled over to face him. Conner leant slightly over her, his hand reaching over to brush her hair out of her face. Hayes closed her eyes, letting the feeling of his skin on her's imprint onto her memory. She didn't know how long it would be until she would be in his arms like this again.

Conner expected an answer but Hayes avoided it. "What time is it?" Hayes murmured.

"Morning."

Oh god. The memory of the night before washed over Hayes like a tidal wave. Had it only been a few hours ago that she had dealt with one of the most disturbing cases in her life? The recollection of the case, the rawness of it all made Hayes feel sick to her stomach. The resurgence of tears threatened. Hayes pressed herself closer to Conner, who quickly picked up on her duress. He pressed a kiss onto the top of her head, knotting his fingers in her silky hair.

"I missed this," Hayes whispered. The moment she spoke, she wished she could reverse the moment and not say it. She didn't want Conner to know how much she really did care about them and their relationship. Not yet. Not with Naomi in the picture.

Conner shifted slightly and Hayes wondered what he was thinking. She met his blue eyes with hesitation, chest tightening with apprehension.

"I missed this too," he said quietly, barely audible. "Hayes..." he trailed off a moment and Hayes waited with bated breath. "I want you to know that when you left me in Chicago, I hit rock bottom. I missed you. So much."

Hayes sank her teeth into her lower lip, processing his words with care. To hear him say it set a weight of guilt on her shoulders. At the same time, to know he did care that much was heartwarming. A bittersweet sensation came over her. She sat up in bed, pulling the sheets against her chest. Conner sat up with her and set his hand on her bare back. The warm pressure was reassuring against the cold reality.

Reality. Naomi was still there. Their night together surely meant nothing. It _couldn't_ mean anything. _Reality is a bitch_ , Hayes thought in disgust. "What happens next? For us?" she wanted to know, as she could not think of anything else to say.

"That's a good question. I don't know," Conner replied with frank honesty. He tucked loose strands of her hair out of her face. "What do you want to have happen?"

Hayes thought back to what her mother said to her about the truth. Arm herself with the truth. Hayes' truth about Conner was a raw burden she'd carried for years, an unspoken weight. It was now or never. Once they got back to New York, who knew when they'd be able to have a conversation as vulnerable as this one, again? Her pulse quickened, anxiety tightening her stomach. The words began to come out without her control, her heart cracking open and spilling out the truth. "Conner, I want to tell you something I never thought I'd say. I've always been freakishly scared of committed relationships, you know that. But...I'm not...scared anymore."

Conner remained silent, letting her speak, his expression unreadable.

"I know it's too late for us. You are with Naomi and happy. And I know what happened to us before. But, Conner...at the end of the day, I just want you to know that if I could go back...back to Chicago, I mean...I wouldn't have left you."

Conner didn't say anything but the softness in his eyes made Hayes relax. Limpness came over her and she longed the comforting grasp of his hands. "Please say something," Hayes whispered.

Conner studied her face a moment, tracing his eyes from her soft pink lips to her dark chocolate eyes. "What about here? Where do we stand?" he cautiously asked, heavy trepidation in his tone.

Hayes carefully chose every word and preceded with equal caution. "I don't care where we stand, as long as it's together."

The weight on Hayes' shoulders lifted as she felt Conner's arms pull her tightly against him. She exhaled for what felt like the first time in months. She raised her head and pressed her lips against his, gently. Nothing more needed to be said right in that moment. Any more words would shatter the fragile world they created between themselves. Hayes couldn't bear to have that happen. Reality would be painful enough back in New York.

Right then, all she wanted was to feel his touch, replay his words.

She prayed that maybe one day, their time would come for a gentle epilogue.


	14. Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is a fix-it for the disaster of an ending of the finale....let's face it, that was an awful way to end the show. As a writer. I felt it was my duty to help make things better ^.^ Enjoy! Comments and kudos are always appreciated.

She doesn't go to him. She won't let herself, no matter how much she wants to.

She did her job and now it cost her the one most important person in her life.

At the same time, her mind argues that he _had_ told her to do her 'damn job'. His words have become something of a mantra in her head, replaying over and over.

It isn't as if she can avoid him forever. She can avoid him that night and even the next day; she purposefully calls in sick to work the exact day Sam leaves. She doesn't see him leave and it's better off that way.

She feels Conner's absence, cold and pressing. The empty place in her bed, the lack of warmth on her skin. To say everything is just a colossal misunderstanding is accurate but an unlikely solution. To say that would be too close to sounding like high school drama.

The first time she sees him afterwards, it's in the steely glass hallways of the CIU. Every muscle freezes in her body the moment her eyes fall upon him walking briskly up the hall, a hundred different confrontational scenes playing out in her rapidly working mind. She avoids contact but he sees her; she knows this and feels the pressure of his eyes on her. They pause for a split second in the hallway, fraught with the intense and persistent hesitation that hummed in the air between them. It's oppressive, enough to finally drag her gaze upwards.

Anger would have been justifiable. Hayes consoled herself for the two days without him by thinking about how he wouldn't want to talk to her anyway. He must hate her and be overcome with hostility, she had reasoned.

Sadness is not what she expected to see in his deep blue eyes, the ones that were usually sparkling and sharp. A wave of nausea curls inside of her as she digs her fingernails into her palms. With one fleeting look, she sees all that she needs to know. Conner could never hate her, she was foolish to think he did. But he is hurt by her, again and again. First Chicago, now this.

Guilt is a mild term to describe how she feels seeing him. It weighs like a rock in her chest, pushing harder and harder until she can no longer breathe. Watching him vanish down the hallway, Hayes sucks in a desperate gasp for air but to no avail. People surely stare as she rushes into the nearest bathroom, chest heaving and hands shaking.

The cold water is a welcome respite on her flushed cheeks. Hayes lets the water run through her fingers as her aching heart slows it's frantic beats. Tremors stop rolling through her arms and fingers by the time she dries them on a towel; Hayes takes a calming breath. She reminds herself that she is not a woman prone to behaviour like this.

It's one fleeting thought that undoes her, in the end.

 _I miss him_.

She misses him the way the sun always misses the moon. Always close, always orbiting around each other but never fully meeting. Occasional eclipses happen; the moments in Hayes' life where their paths cross long enough for him to hold her in his arms, but then their worlds shift and they get thrown apart against their will.

_I miss him so much._

As the hot tears escape from her burning eyes, she wants to crawl out of her own skin and escape. She hates crying, hates feeling negative emotions. Except the tears don't stop no matter how hard she tries.

Sinking onto the bathroom floor, she rests her head back against the tile wall, gradually permitting herself to release some of the pent up emotion. Her shoulders shake, her throat tenses to the point she can hardly swallow and her head grows heavy from the intense exertion of tears.

Amid it all, she finds herself thinking of when they first met. How when she first heard him speaking in front of the court, she felt the lightbulbs and gears shattering, turning and sparking in her mind. It took her less than thirty seconds to decide that Conner Wallace would be a major part of her life from that day forward. Everything he said was so precise and brilliant that Hayes remembers thinking to herself that she'd never met any other person like him before.

And she probably never will. 

She lets herself cry for a while before getting up and wiping her face dry. She wipes the mascara off her cheeks and fixes her hair.

And she takes a deep breath and walks out of the bathroom as if nothing ever happened. Because as far as the rest of the world knew, nothing had ever happened. The line between what was real and what was for show is being more and more blurred in Hayes' life. There is only one thing, one person that always stands out amid the smudged edges.

The spark inside of herself is gone. Hayes sits at her desk and stares at the picture of the two of them on their vacation to Italy together. They're on their hotel room balcony together, his arm around her waist as he gazes down at her with completely fixed attention. Her hair is a mess, she's bare of any makeup and she's only wearing Conner's shirt. It was a completely candid photo; Jackson had snapped it quite unexpectedly. It's one of the few photos of herself she actually enjoys; all her other photos feel forced, made up and fussed over until they're perfect.

Conner always seems to prefer the version of Hayes that is imperfect.

Days slip off of the calendar but they feel slower, as if her entire world is submerged underwater. She doesn't see him again and tries to focus on the case. The watch on her wrist seems to be ticking slower than usual.

The tension is building up, higher and higher in her system. Each nerve in her body is buzzing, on edge. Her mellow depression slides into bitter anger, unforgiving and fierce. The spark and fire inside of Hayes that makes her exactly who she is, returns with each negative thought about the situation. Part of her still wants to wallow in self pity, the other part of her is pissed.

Why does their relationship have to exist only in brief eclipses? Hayes dwells on this in her swell of agitation. The world which once seemed dismal and grey, now felt black and harsh and unfair. Hayes had half a mind to just find Conner and force him to hear the entire story but her logical brain checks her before she does so; this can't be rushed. She knows this acutely well.

The two polar opposite emotions reach a mutual place, one that Hayes can find a level of acceptance with. The fire in her veins is back but no longer as bitter. The weight in her heart is still nagging but she finds that she can breathe a bit easier now.

And finally she feels ready for the inevitable confrontation.

She seeks him out after work. As she goes down the long hallway to his office, she wonders if everyone in the entire world can hear her heartbeat rattling her ribcage. She doesn't see any good reason to be nervous and at the same time, her tongue is knotted and her throat can't force out any legible words.

Before she can think or doubt herself, she knocks on the door. Conner is surprised to see her but he has the decency not to say so. He lets her inside, quiet and acting very much like the lawyer that he is. Professional and assessing.

There are a million things she wants to say and a million reasons not to. Conner waits patiently for her to speak but everything about his demeanour says he's guarded.

"This sounds really lame, but it's not what you thought it was."

The pulse of hurt flares up in his eyes. He flicks his stare downwards for a split second before lifting them to meet hers again. "What I saw was you kissing Sam."

"Which I was, but not because I like him in any way. I actually find him to be a bit rude and abrasive." Hayes tries to calm her pounding heart by inhaling deeply. "Conner, listen to me. I don't love him. I kissed Sam because I didn't want him to be cast out of the CIU in shame, not when he could leave on his own by filing a sexual harassment report. So I kissed him in front of the cleaning crew so there'd be witnesses. It was a plan, one that I wanted to have nothing to do with but I had to do it. I did what you told me to do. I did my damn job. It was my job to help Sam get out of here and I did what I had to do." Hayes pauses for a breath, desperately searching Conner's face for a reaction during her explanation.

Conner just mutely stands there, listening.

"I should have told you, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." His silence moved Hayes to sharply amend, "Actually, I do have something else to say. I am _sick_ of being the person who constantly hurts you. This is not what I want to be, situations just keep lining up so wrong for us. I am sick and tired of our relationship always being brief glimmers of what it can be but never is. I want you, I love you and god, I am so freaking exhausted from us always being so close to making it but always being stopped by something."

A silence follows this outburst and Hayes can feel a hum under her skin, pushing and throbbing to get out. She feels like screaming at the entire world until everyone finally understands the truth.

"I'm sorry." The first words Conner finally says.

The throbbing pauses as Hayes finally looks up at him. The hurt in his eyes has cleared, the clouds that hung around him dissipating.

He continues, "I...I know we fail at out relationship a lot. Every time we get up, we fail. Over and over. But you know, Hayes, at least we're getting up together. There is no other person I'd rather do that with than you. And maybe, if we just keep getting up together, one of these times we're just going to...stay there. You and me."

"Staying up forever," Hayes repeats softly, the words a soothing balm to say.

And they do fail.

And they get up together.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Until eventually, he's right.

They stay up, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave fic requests on the tumblr Hayes-Conner-Conviction.tumblr.com. And always feel free to leave comments or kudos! They're appreciated :)


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